Hannah Drake

Self Care Is... Knowing Your Love Languages

Self CareHannah DrakeComment

In the last year or so, I’ve been trying to focus on self care and what it looks like in my life. I’ve decided to start a new (semi) regular blog series called Self Care Is, but I’m not entirely sure what it’s going to look like yet. Self care means a lot of different things to a lot of different people, many of whom know a whole hell of a lot more about it than I do. But I view it as a journey and since I’m inclined to share my life in this space, I figured I’d invite you along in the journey as well.

A few months ago, my sister asked me “What’s your self care love language?” I told her that my love language is Words of Affirmation, but she explained that my self care love language might be different. Then she sent me this, from Blessing Manifesting:

After looking at the examples, I decided my self care love languages are Acts of Service and Receiving Gifts.

I feel that it’s important to understand both of your love languages: the love you want from others and the love you give yourself, especially if they’re different. But it’s also important to understand your partner’s love language if you’re in a relationship. We’re inclined to give love the way we want to receive it and their love language may be different from ours.

I also believe that throughout different phases of our lives, our love languages might shift. For instance, before I lived with Luke, Acts of Service was probably my fifth ranked love language, but now it’s probably my second. When Luke does things around the house, especially if they’re chores I’m typically responsible for, I definitely feel loved and cared for. I feel like we’re building a home together that we both value and I feel like my time is honoured in taking something off my to do list. I guess that’s just #adulting for ya, though.

You can take the love language quiz here.

If you’ve never considered your self care love language, I encourage you to take a moment to think about it. Are you a #treatyoself type or all about changing your inner dialogue with positive self-talk? Do you have a handful of solo hobbies or are you all about your therapy sessions? When I look at the diagram, I can definitely relate to something in every box. I love soft blankets and massages! I love scheduling/planning and I’m a big believer in therapy! I’m all about treating myself! I’m trying to meditate daily and I absolutely love going to the movies by myself! I’ve journaled for as long as I can remember! But I definitely relate to Acts of Service and Receiving Gifts the most.

Since discovering my self care love language, I’ve been able to better meet my own needs. I’ve been able to create time doing exactly what I know will leave me feeling refreshed and relaxed. It’s been a total game changer, just like discovering my relational love language was so many years ago.

What does self care look like to you? Let me know in the comments and remember there is no right or wrong answer!