Today is our second marriage anniversary! [Insert cliche about how quickly time goes here.] The second year of our marriage has been comfortable, exciting, and brought about some of the biggest changes in our lives! We’ve been incredibly blessed in our marriage that it’s been quite easy thus far. We haven’t had major curve balls thrown our way and we find that we’re truly two puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together.
Last year, I talked about how communication, gratitude, silliness, and alone time contributed to a good first year for us. And those four things continue to be pillars in our relationship. Communication is probably even more important now that we’re home owners and taking care of our dog and cat. Gratitude is still a nightly practice for us, telling each other everything that we’re grateful for throughout the day before going to sleep. Silliness is like the essence of our entire relationship. We always joke that our kids are going to be insanely embarrassed by how ridiculously silly we are pretty much all the time. And of course alone time, both alone and alone together, is key for us getting the time we need as individuals and as a couple.
Of course, no matter how fun and easy our relationship can feel at times, it’s still something that we need to take care of every single day. We both still have areas we need to work on as individuals and we have areas we need to work on together. Yet every day we make a choice to do just that. We make the choice to love and respect one another, to dream together, to support each other.
So as we move into our third year as Mr. and Mrs. Drake, here are three things that I want to focus on to continue to build a strong relationship, especially amidst everything we have going on in our lives.
This has always been something we need to be better at. We spend so much time together and we’re actually really good about having a weekly date night. But we’re getting increasingly worse at spending quality time together, if we’re being honest. While we used to spend Saturday mornings playing board games or spending our evenings playing card games, we more often than not flip on the TV and sit on the couch for hours, both of us with our phones in our hands. Over the summer, we had a phone curfew and would put our phones away at 7:00PM every night, but we’ve gotten lazy with that habit in recent weeks. We’ve also found that asking each other out-of-the-box type questions is a great way to connect, whether it be over dinner or breakfast at the weekend, or even a long car ride.
I guess when I think of grace, I think of being forgiving and understanding. In understanding, it’s important to try to see someone else’s perspective in the situation. In forgiving, it’s important to let go, to not carry something with you forever—even in the back of your mind—and to not keep score. Grace goes such a long way to make a relationship not only last, but to keep a relationship strong. In fact, I can’t really picture a long and loving marriage without grace at the centre.
Patience is always something that I need to work on. It’s 100% one of my “blind spots”, if you will. But patience is also going to be key going forward in our relationship together. We just bought a house and things aren’t going to be exactly how we want them straight away. We need to be patient when working on our house, holding out for things we really want rather than settling for something that’s “okay” just to make some type of progress. We need patience searching for furniture or materials and even if Luke is going to build things for our new house. We’ll need patience as we help cultivate a relationship between Eggs and Benedict, who are doing okay together, but certainly not the best of friends already. We need patience as we navigate life in general together, whether that’s with work or relationships outside of our own.
Header photo & dancing photo by Brianne Haagenson Photography.